


Wildly Unprofessional

by EggplantSalad



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: BDSM, Bathroom Sex, Canon Compliant, Canon Queer Relationship, Consensual Sex, Consent is Sexy, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Discussion of Anal Sex, Discussion of anal fingering, Dom/sub, Enthusiastic Consent, Established Relationship, Hair-pulling, Light Angst, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Bathroom, Oral Sex, Patrick Brewer has BDE, Patrick Brewer is Gay, Podfic Welcome, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sexual Fantasy, Shower Sex, Smut, relationships are hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:14:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26330224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EggplantSalad/pseuds/EggplantSalad
Summary: “Whatcha doing there, David?”David gasped and opened his eyes. Patrick was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. That fucking fan must have covered the sound of the door opening. That or David was so lost in his fantasy that he was beyond hearing such pedestrian things as doors.Or, David tries to discreetly jerk one out at the store and Patrick catches him.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 67
Kudos: 326
Collections: David & Patrick Schmoop’s Creek





	Wildly Unprofessional

**Author's Note:**

  * For [this_is_not_nothing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/this_is_not_nothing/gifts).



> For [This Is Not Nothing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/this_is_not_nothing), who created a prompt so spicy I had to drop what I was doing and write it up immediately: "Patrick catches David jerking off and stands over him and watches him finish." 
> 
> Written in like 20 minutes on my phone. Not beta-read. Hell, barely re-read, so this will be an adventure for us all, won't it?

David waited until Patrick was helping a customer to sneak into the bathroom. He could barely wait for the door to close before he was fumbling at his zipper, sighing in relief as his aching cock was freed from his tight jeans.

He sagged against the wall opposite the door and squeezed his cock through his briefs for a second. Was he really about to do this? After the third time a customer almost interrupted something, Patrick had instituted a firm _no fooling around in the store during work hours_ rule weeks ago. But it wasn’t like they were fooling around with each _other,_ was it? No, this was just David taking care of a...situation.

And it was Patrick’s fault anyway, for wearing that one pair of jeans that did _all_ the favors for that perfect ass. For sucking him so good that morning in the shower at Ray’s that David’s balls were still tingling. For looking at him with those gorgeous whiskey eyes from across the store until David’s whole brain turned to mush. He just couldn’t fucking _think_ around Patrick today, _fuck._

He flipped the fan on, shoved his jeans and underwear down and began jerking himself quickly. Ugh, what he wouldn’t do for some lube right now. He eyeballed the pump bottle of lemon lavender hand lotion at the sink and sighed in surrender, filling his palm with a generous portion. Yet another thing Patrick would never let him hear the end of, after all of David’s lectures about how jerking off with lotion was _incorrect_.

But needs must. David closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the wall. The citrusy scent bloomed in the air as he stroked his rigid length, biting his lips to keep quiet. He needed to do this fast, before Patrick got suspicious.

His hand sped up to a blur and he stifled a moan as he let himself imagine Patrick touching his cock; Patrick bending him over the bed and grunting while he fucked David so hard the bed frame shook, which, oh Jesus, they hadn’t even gotten to anal yet and that sounded so hot; Patrick on his knees and opening that pretty pink mouth to beg—

“Whatcha doing there, David?”

David gasped and opened his eyes. Patrick was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. That fucking fan must have covered the sound of the door opening. That or David was so lost in his fantasy that he was beyond hearing such pedestrian things as doors.

Patrick looked carefully neutral, his mouth a thin line, and _fuck_ , he must be so disappointed.

“I’m sorry,” David babbled, yanking his briefs back up. “I just couldn’t stop thinking about this morning and you look so good in those jeans and I just...I just needed to—real quick—I just...I’m sorry. I know we’re not supposed to at the store, I’m sorry.” Patrick blinked at him.

His cheeks burning, David reached for a napkin to wipe his hand off so he could pull up his jeans.

“I didn’t say you could stop,” said Patrick mildly. David’s eyes snapped up. Patrick was still standing in the same casual pose, but his cock was thickening in his jeans and his eyes—Christ, his eyes were burning.

David had a pet theory. Or—a hope, maybe. In their day-to-day life, Patrick refused to put up with a single ounce of David’s bullshit, teasing and razzing him mercilessly. David had jerked off more than once imagining what that attitude might look like in the bedroom, but so far Patrick had been shy and thoughtful in a way that made David ache in a whole different way. Didn’t mean he stopped wanting the other thing, though. The thing he’d all but given up on seeing from Patrick. The thing that he was, he hoped, seeing right now.

David froze, his hand hovering in the air over the napkins, brain buffering as his flagging erection began to stiffen again.

“I thought—I thought you said no fooling around with each other when the store’s open,” said David.

“I closed the store for a few minutes,” Patrick said with a shrug. David looked over Patrick’s shoulder and could just see the sign flipped and the door locked.

Patrick stepped into the bathroom and pulled the door closed behind him, then leaned against it. David stared at him, still frozen.

“Was I unclear?” Patrick said softly. David shook his head slowly.

“No. But I—I want you to tell me. Um. Tell me what to do. Again.” David was barely aware that he was doing it, but he felt himself shrink down a bit, slumping down further, looking up at Patrick through his eyelashes, his whole body becoming deferential.

Patrick’s eyes darkened and it was like all the power that David gave up flowed right into him, squared his shoulders, lifted his chin.

“David, get your fucking dick out,” said Patrick in that same soft voice. “I’m not going to ask again.”

David’s breath caught, and Patrick’s mouth twisted in a smirk that wanted to be filthy but mostly looked glad to have gotten it right. Which, fine, David could work with that.

He bit his lip, making a show of looking away modestly as he pulled his briefs down again. He darted a shy look back to Patrick and fuck, Patrick was _into_ this, his pupils blown wide and his cheeks scarlet.

David wanted to touch himself so badly, but he wanted Patrick to tell him to do it even more, so he waited, hands clenched on the waistband of his briefs.

Patrick’s throat clicked as he swallowed. “Stroke your cock, David. Nice and slow.”

David closed his hand around his cock with a sigh, throwing in a little moan. Positive reinforcement was important.

“Fuck, you look so good like that, jerking your cock for me,” Patrick said, and David moaned again, encouragingly. Patrick straightened up and his voice dropped lower. “What got you so horny, baby? Hmm? What got you so hot that you couldn’t even wait til closing time to get your hands in your pants?”

“You,” gasped David, and he was still going slow, he was being so good, but he needed more. He slid his other hand to his balls and squeezed a little. Patrick sucked in a startled breath.

“What were you—tell me what you were thinking about.”

David opened his mouth twice to say it, but found himself genuinely reluctant.

“David...” Patrick said, a note of warning in his voice that made David’s dick twitch.

“I was, um. Imagining you were fucking me,” said David, and peeked at Patrick through squinched up eyes. Patrick’s mouth fell open and he pushed the heel of his hand down on his erection.

“ _Jesus_ , David,” Patrick said, and for the first time he sounded a little out of control. “You want me to fuck you? Tell me how I fucked you.”

“I—you made me get naked and pushed me down over the bed,” said David, his hand speeding up. “Then you got on the bed and told me to finger myself open while I sucked your cock.”

Patrick’s chest heaved as David continued. “You said...you said if I was good and sucked you right, I could earn your cock in my ass.” He whimpered, his hand flying over his cock now. “I was so good for you, Patrick, I sucked you so good, and then you fucked me so hard the bed shook, and—" He cried out and stilled, coming into his hand.

Fuck, Patrick had said to go slow, but he couldn’t help it. Would Patrick be upset?

Patrick suddenly wrenched himself away from the doorway and fumbled with his belt. “Jesus _Christ_ , David. You wanna earn my cock? You want to be good for me?”

David dropped to his knees. “Oh, _fuck_ yes,” he said, reaching up to help Patrick get his pants down. Then he was swallowing Patrick down, pulling back to tongue at the slit while his come-covered hand twisted up the shaft.

Patrick moaned and plunged his hands into David’s hair, tugging on it mercilessly as a tidal wave of filth poured from that not-so-clean mouth. “Oh fuck, you’re so fucking good for me, sucking my cock right here in the store. Fucking take it, you wanna earn my cock in your ass. Gonna take what I give you, isn’t that right? Gonna swallow every drop, oh _fuck_ —"

Patrick’s fingers tightened in David’s hair as he came with a yell, and David was so good, he swallowed it all and stayed put and kept sucking until Patrick winced and pulled out, he was good, he was so good.

“Yeah, you were,” Patrick croaked as he pulled David up and into a hug, and David realized he might have said that last part aloud. “You were so good for me, baby.”

David hid his face in Patrick’s shoulder, feeling slightly foolish now that they had both come and were just standing here in the store bathroom with their dicks out. “Yeah?” he said softly.

But Patrick wouldn’t let him hide his face. He pushed at David’s shoulders until they could meet each other’s eyes. He looked luminous, victorious, and David wanted to curl up in him and be safe even if it was a stupid impulse that had only ever hurt him before.

“David, you were amazing,” said Patrick, his eyes glowing. "I didn’t even know I—I mean, I’ve _heard_ of that, obviously, I just—" he shook his head helplessly. “I really liked that.”

David offered a small smile and ducked his head again, even as the wearier part of his brain told him not to let Patrick in, not to trust. People had liked it before, with David, but what _David_ liked seemed to get lost in the shuffle after a while.

But Patrick pulled him back in for a gentle kiss. “I really liked that,” he repeated. “I really like _you_.”

And David would rather have died than say “I really like you, too” like a fucking middle-schooler, but he _looked_ at Patrick and hoped he got the message across.

Patrick grinned sweetly, knowingly. “Come on, David, let’s get cleaned up and open the store back up. We’ve got a lot to do before tonight.”

“Oh? What’s tonight?” David said, turning away to grab a paper towel.

But then Patrick was crowding up behind him, hands pulling on David’s hips. His softened cock ground against David’s bare ass, and David couldn’t help but gasp and push back, just a little.

“Well, apparently I said you could earn my cock in your ass if you did a good job sucking me,” Patrick whispered in David’s ear. “And you did _such_ a good job, baby.”

And part of David wanted to collapse against the sink and beg Patrick to fuck him right then, refractory periods and store hours be damned. But something like responsibility tugged at his brain.

He turned around, draping his arms over Patrick’s shoulders. “You don’t have to,” he said. “We haven’t— _you_ haven’t done that, and I don’t want to pressure you or anything. I mean, it’s okay if we just...keep it a fantasy.”

Patrick’s face melted into that sweet, upside-down smile of his and he held David tighter. “Okay, David,” he said simply. “But for the record, I really want to fuck you into the mattress, and I really don’t feel pressured about it, and tonight’s Ray’s poker night, so can we put our dicks away and open the store back up? Because we have plans tonight.”

David knew he was grinning like an idiot but couldn’t bring himself to care. “I like the sound of plans.”

“Me too, David.”


End file.
